My second Move Tank :)

This is my second Move Tank! I was so happy to win this one on ebay. After discovering the Move Tank in Frisby/Royale, I researched the tank and decided that of all of them, I had to have this one, too. The colors in this one are Paradise/Kiss Chipper. The one I got is size 8. It is not in as quite as good condition as my previous Move Tank. There may be some fading to it... I can't really tell... but I still think it is beautiful.

New Lulu tanks!!! The Move Tank

Guess what!?! I just discovered a vintage Lululemon tank that is absolutely gorgeous. It is called the Move Tank. It's made of organic cotton, which is actually not the best for working out (I prefer luon, luxtreme, silverescent, or circle mesh), but it is lovely for looking pretty in hot weather!

Here is my first Move Tank. This tank was part of Oqoqo, Lulu's line of clothes made from sustainable fabrics, which was discontinued. Certified organic cotton yarn was used to make the fabric. It is preshrunk, flat seamed, and chafe resistant. As you can see, this one is made of pretty blues and purples all pieced together. I think the colors are Frisby and Royale. The top third and bottom third are finely ribbed, and the middle third is plain with no texture. There are two adjustable bra straps (for the body and the inner shelf bra), and a built-in shelf bra made of Brushed Silverescent (a fabric which is anti-stink and wicking). The built-in shelf bra has slots for removable cups.

The fabric is 67% organic cottom, 22% cotton, and 11% lycra spandex. The lining is 87% nylon and 13% spandex.

The one I have is size 6. It was kept in impeccable condition by a nice girl named Martha who sold it to me. I am very happy with it. Although I wear a 6 in Lulu tanks made these days, the older versions of size 6 fit smaller... so this one is a tad bit to the small side on me, but it still fits and is beautiful. After getting the 6 and realizing how much I love this tank, I saw a size 10, New With Tags (NWT) on ebay, but I passed it up, thinking it might be too big. Afterwards of course, I had second thoughts. I am very guilty of buying multiples of Lulu tanks that I love. However, I rationalize it, because it is that hard to find clothes that flatter the body and make you feel like you look good. And I certainly wear all my Lulu tanks, given the frequency with which I work out. And plan to work out for the rest of my life. So it works out.

Update! Today, I saw this same tank posted on ebay in size 8! I might have to bid on it and sell my size 6. These tanks definitely run small. Makes me regret not buying the size 10.

Ashley Judd Slaps Media in the Face for Speculation Over Her "Puffy" Appearance

Re-posted. Originally posted on MU's Love Your Body blog.

This article from The Daily Beast is very interesting. Ashley Judd discusses women’s body image and women’s participation in the patriarchy.

That women are joining in the ongoing disassembling of my appearance is salient. Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it. This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/04/09/ashley-judd-slaps-media-in-the-face-for-speculation-over-her-puffy-appearance.html

Marilyn Monroe Nike Ad - LOVE.

link

"A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn’t curve. By where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers. By all the outside things that don’t ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics, and statistics lie."

Some things that get me all teary-eyed...

Since google took away Google Buzz, I thought I'd post some recent links I've come across that are meaningful to me.

Lindsey Nebeker never ceases to inspire me. I look up to her a great deal. Here is the behind the scenes interview with her and Dave on NPR.

Other articles that I found poignant:

New York Times: Navigating Love and Autism

TIME: Q&A with the author of Aspergirls (Rudy Simone)

A few of my new Lulu favorites!

I scored these older Lulu items on ebay. I am officially obsessed with this store!

Here's my new purple "Escapade Jacket" LOVE
And my new purple plaid hat! also LOVE

And the unique Full Metal (or Full Medal?) jacket! I love it. I feel so womanly in it. It's unlike anything I have in my closet.

Love it

link

Pride in Boston!

Lululemon store photos!

Lulu in Seattle & Lulu in Boston

With Dr. Isabelle Henault

With Dr. Liane Holliday Willey!

In Plaster, by Sylvia Plath

"I shall never get out of this! There are two of me now:
This new absolutely white person and the old yellow one,
And the white person is certainly the superior one.
She doesn't need food, she is one of the real saints.

At the beginning I hated her, she had no personality --
She lay in bed with me like a dead body

And I was scared, because she was shaped just the way I was 


Only much whiter and unbreakable and with no complaints.
I couldn't sleep for a week, she was so cold.
I blamed her for everything, but she didn't answer.

I couldn't understand her stupid behavior!

When I hit her she held still, like a true pacifist.

Then I realized what she wanted was for me to love her:
She began to warm up, and I saw her advantages.



Without me, she wouldn't exist, so of course she was grateful.

I gave her a soul, I bloomed out of her as a rose

Blooms out of a vase of not very valuable porcelain,
And it was I who attracted everybody's attention,

Not her whiteness and beauty, as I had at first supposed.

I patronized her a little, and she lapped it up --

You could tell almost at once she had a slave mentality.



I didn't mind her waiting on me, and she adored it.

In the morning she woke me early, reflecting the sun

From her amazingly white torso, and I couldn't help but notice

Her tidiness and her calmness and her patience:
She humored my weakness like the best of nurses,

Holding my bones in place so they would mend properly.
In time our relationship grew more intense.



She stopped fitting me so closely and seemed offish.

I felt her criticizing me in spite of herself,

As if my habits offended her in some way.
She let in the drafts and became more and more absent-minded.

And my skin itched and flaked away in soft pieces

Simply because she looked after me so badly.
Then I saw what the trouble was: she thought she was immortal.

She wanted to leave me, she thought she was superior,

And I'd been keeping her in the dark, and she was resentful --
Wasting her days waiting on a half-corpse!

And secretly she began to hope I'd die.
Then she could cover my mouth and eyes, cover me entirely,

And wear my painted face the way a mummy-case
Wears the face of a pharaoh, though it's made of mud and water.



I wasn't in any position to get rid of her.
She'd supported me for so long I was quite limp --
I had forgotten how to walk or sit,
So I was careful not to upset her in any way

Or brag ahead of time how I'd avenge myself.
Living with her was like living with my own coffin:
Yet I still depended on her, though I did it regretfully.

I used to think we might make a go of it together --

After all, it was a kind of marriage, being so close.

Now I see it must be one or the other of us.
She may be a saint, and I may be ugly and hairy,

But she'll soon find out that that doesn't matter a bit.
I'm collecting my strength; one day I shall manage without her,

And she'll perish with emptiness then, and begin to miss me."

With the legendary Dr. Tony Attwood!

The Neuroscience of Meditation

As we learn more about neuroplasticity, it's increasingly clear that the brain is continuously being shaped by experience. So we really have a choice as human beings, whether we wish to have our brains shaped willy-nilly by the forces that impact upon us or take a more active responsibility for shaping our own brains in ways to promote more positive kinds of qualities. The current neuroscience-oriented research indicates that we can indeed take more responsibility and actively promote the more positive shaping of our brains through the explicit cultivation of positive mental states and challenging negative mental states. Doing so leads to systematic changes in the brain which can be enduring and may be important not just for our emotional well-being, but for our physical well-being, as well.--Richie Davidson

The effect of meditation on the brain is a hot topic of research right now, and I wanted to devote a post on this blog to the topic. The brain waves of Zen meditators were actually studied in Japan before WWII, but as brain imaging techniques have become progressively more sophisticated, research in this area has really taken off.

A leader in this research and a pioneer in the fields of affective neuroscience (the study of neural mechanisms of emotion) and of neuroplasticity is Dr. Richie Davidson. Richie is a professor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and the director of the Laboratory for Affective Neuroscience, the Waisman Laboratory for Brain Imaging & Behavior, and the Center for Investigating Healthy Minds.

Richie talks about the work being done in his laboratories in a podcast and in the Google Talks video below.

Highlights from the podcast:
Subjects in the studies in his laboratories range from very long-term practitioners who have been practicing for tens of thousands of hours across their lifetime to novice practitioners who are new to meditation.

Three general conclusions that can be made from this research include:

1. Even really short amounts of practice in novice practitioners has discernible effects
2. More practice leads to greater improvements, on a number of different indices
3. The relationship between amount of practice and the magnitude of change is not a strictly linear one. In some cases, the magnitude of change may actually be greater because there is more room to see improvement, at least on certain measures.

Big questions that remain in relation to the neuroscience of meditation:

1. How can we better understand an individual's unique cognitive and emotional style and make predictions about what specific types of practice might be most efficacious for an individual with a given style?
2. How can we develop or optimize methods of meditation training for children in a way that is developmentally appropriate?
3. How meditation might induce changes in gene expression?

What's currently hot in your lab?

A major issue front and center is to better understand the nature of emotion regulation. We believe the capacity to regulate emotion, both consciously and unconsciously (or we might say through voluntary means vs. more automatic means), is something that lies at the heart of individual differences in emotional style and emotional reactivity and it is also central to understanding why certain individuals may be vulnerable to particular kinds of psychiatric disorders in the face of adversity and why other individuals may be resilient and be relatively immune to the development of such disorders. So we have been very interested in better understanding the neural bases of emotion regulation and also how individual differences in emotion regulation relate to peripheral biology, health, and so forth.

Richie on the links between meditation and neuroscience:

We have within each of us the capacity to change our own mind and brain through systematic mental training. The contemplative traditions have much to offer in delineating specific methods and procedures for training the mind and cultivating certain positive qualities. I also believe that positive qualities like happiness and kindness and compassion are all best regarded as the skills that can be enhanced through training. All of that meshes very well with modern understandings from neuroscience of plasticity and the fact that circuits in the brain can be shaped through experience and training. So all of this really makes a lot of sense from both the contemplative perspectives as well as from scientific perspectives.

Dr. Sara Lazar, neuroscientist at Massachusetts General Hospital and psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School, is another leader in meditation brain research. One main focus of her work is looking at how meditation influences brain structure.

When asked what sorts of brain meditation studies are needed in the future in this podcast, she says:

There's a lot to be done. Certainly, it has been shown that meditation reduces stress and promotes attention, but that's just the beginning. ... When you think about it, it's really amazing, because all you're doing is sitting there and watching your breath, and then that leads to emotion regulation and stress reduction, but also spirituality, changes in interpersonal relationships, better physical health, better mental health. So we need a better understanding of how you go from that really simple practice of watching the breath to this wide range of benefits...

If you have the chance, check out Richie Davidson's presentation on Google Talks:



There's really so much fascinating material here. I may come back later to do a recap, but for now I'll just encourage you to watch it.

I particularly love Richie's closing thoughts on envisioning the future. He says:

I believe, in 2050, mental exercise will be accepted and practiced in the same way physical exercise is today. Also, in 2050, we will have a science of virtuous qualities. In 2050, we will incorporate the mind back into medicine and better understand how the brain can modulate peripheral biology in ways that affect our health, and I think this will lead us to more collectively take responsibility for our own health. We will also develop a secular approach to provide methods and practices from contemplative traditions to:

Teach teachers and children ways to better regulate emotions and attention and cultivate qualities like kindness and compassion, and regard these qualities as the product of skills that can be trained

Transform corrections so that forgiveness can be cultivated in victims and emotion regulation and stress reduction in offenders

Increase awareness of our interdependence upon others and upon the planet and be more responsible caretakers of our precious environment

Promote more widespread adoption of these practices into the major institutions of our culture. This will help to restore civility, humility, gratitude, and other virtues in our culture

A reminder of the fragility of life...

The other day I saw a mommy deer and her baby scamper into the woods behind our house. What I noticed first and foremost was how remarkably small the fawn was. He was like the size of my cats but with longer legs.

This morning I saw the fawn lying on his side in our backyard. He didn't move for a long while. I tried to use distraction to cope with the feelings of sadness.

My mom told me that when she and my dad got back from the farmer's market, they saw the mommy deer licking her baby and eating some grass. Later, my dad moved the fawn somewhere so it wasn't out in the middle of our backyard in plain sight. Apparently the mommy deer returned later and licked the spot where her baby had been. I can't get over how terribly sad this is.

All I can guess is that the fawn died of natural causes. He was just so small, and perhaps was born prematurely. All I can say is, I hope deer don't have much in the way of emotions like sadness and grief.

I just wanted to share this story because it stood out to me as a reminder of the fragility of life. I do hope to explore death and grieving at some point in this blog.

Setting my intentions...

This blog has been at a standstill for a while, but I have several ideas for upcoming posts. I wanted to set the intention to explore the following:

Mindful eating
Mindful parenting
Mindfulness for practitioners
Sex, money, and death

I wish I would have covered these topics before the end of the semester, but my blogging has become sluggish. I decided to go ahead and post my intentions to explore these topics at some point, otherwise I likely will not make time to do so.

Thanks for reading, if anyone reads this :)

Yoga Nidra - iRest

Richard Miller has developed what is called Integrative Restoration, or iRest, an adaptation of the ancient teachings of Yoga Nidra (yoga meaning "embodying what is timeless", and nidra: "across all states of consciousness"). I have also heard Yoga Nidra translated as "sleep of the yogis". It is described as a conscious, deep sleep.

Don't be fooled by the term "yoga". The practice of iRest is less like yoga as you and I know it, and more like a lying-down meditation. Rather than going through a series of postures, you are instructed to lie down on your back, in savasana, or corpse pose, for the duration of the meditation. For this reason, I have actually heard Yoga Nidra described as a form of "pretzel free relaxation".

According to Richard Miller's 6 CD companion set to his book:

iRest helps you break free of self-limiting patterns, emotions and beliefs so that you may live a contented life, free of conflict, anxiety and suffering. In its ultimate form, iRest reveals the secret of enlightenment and introduces you to your True Nature as joyful and radiant Presence.

iRest induces deep relaxation throughout your entire body and mind and enables you to eliminate stress and resolve personal problems and trauma. It neutralizes anxiety, fear, anger, depression and insomnia. It teaches you how to enter deep meditation, and in its ultimate form, iRest helps you unravel the mystery of life and answer the questions, “Who am I?” and “What is enlightenment?”

The Integrative Restoration Institute website informs us that the goal of iRest is achieved through two basic steps:
1. The recognition of an intrinsic sense of peace during all circumstances
2. The release of negative body sensations, emotions, and beliefs and stress that give rise to self-destructive patterns

Like other forms of meditation, iRest is best understood experientially. While I don't have extensive experience with the practice, I have gotten a taste of it and truly enjoyed it. One thing I found useful was being guided towards a witnessing presence and experiencing dis-identification from thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations.

In my group, we listened to the same guided meditation by Richard Miller over the course of several sessions, and interestingly, we would each report hearing parts of the CD that we hadn't heard previously. It is actually normal to go in and out of different states of consciousness during Yoga Nidra, and you are not to worry if you fall asleep while doing the practice. Apparently, unlike meditation, an individual doing Yoga Nidra will remain awake but leave the Waking state, pass the Dreaming state, and go to Deep Sleep.



Numerous studies are being conducted across the U.S. to investigate the efficacy of iRest on a variety of populations, including but not limited to:

Soldiers and veterans experiencing PTSD
Military spouses and family
People experiencing homelessness
People in chemical dependency and relapse prevention programs
People with sleep disorders
People experiencing chronic pain
People with breathing disorders
College students
Adolescents at risk
People with Multiple sclerosis
Incarcerated men and women
Couples experiencing infertility issues
Kids of all ages

So far, the results appear promising. People using iRest report:

Decreased insomnia
Reduced depression, anxiety and fear
Decreased perception of chronic and acute pain
Decreased stress in daily life
Improved interpersonal relations
Increased comfort with situations they could not control, and paradoxically
Increased sense of control in their lives
Increased energy levels

Please see The Integrative Restoration Institute website for more information on iRest and why it appears to have so many clinical applications.

Also, if anyone at MU is interested, the Student Health Center offers an iRest course each semester.

Three-Minute Breathing Space

Here is a mindfulness exercise I thought I'd share with you. It's called the Three-Minute Breathing Space. It's a great way to integrate mindfulness into everyday life. You can do it several times throughout the day to check in and ground yourself. It is a useful tool to step out of “automatic pilot” and bring yourself into the awareness of the present moment.

Awareness

Bring yourself into the present moment by deliberately adopting an erect (but not rigid) and dignified posture. If possible, close your eyes, or close them half-way, focusing a few inches in front of your feet. Then ask yourself:

What is my experience right now... my thoughts... my feelings... my bodily sensations?

Acknowledge your experience in this moment, even if it is unwanted.

Gathering

Now, gently direct your awareness to your breathing, following each inbreath and each outbreath, one after the other. If necessary, say to yourself, “I am breathing in. I am breathing out.”

The breath can function as an anchor to bring you into the present moment since the breath is always with us and available at any time as a focus of attention. Regulating the inbreath with the outbreath can assist in maintaining awareness and stillness.

Expanding

Now, expanding your awareness to the whole body, imagine that you are breathing with the body as a whole, including your posture and facial expression. When you’re ready, take a deep, cleansing breath, and then open your eyes and return to your day. You may find that you bring with you a little bit of something that wasn't there before.

This exercise can be found in The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself From Chronic Unhappiness, by Williams, Teasdale, Segal and Kabat-Zinn. It is taught in Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) courses, but it can be a useful exercise for anyone.

The Guest House, by Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks


Paintings by Leah

Love After Love, by Derek Walcott

The time will come when,
with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door,
in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.